saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
Totally smoking with fifteen year olds.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Randomize
