I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Randomize
