My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
i have wind burn on my face from my head hanging out the window of the cab vomitting
omg dinner turned into a foam party this is weiriiid
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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