this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
