Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
