So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
She said her tits were too big, and he slapped her. He said that Jesus didn't appreciate bitches that fish for compliments
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Maybe singing about how you'd bang Morgan Freeman to the tune of Single Ladies while holding champagne and a box of Cheerios wasn't the best first impression on his parents
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
