no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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