She had a bottle of NAIR in her bathroom, but she clearly hadn't been using it.
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
How do I tell my child he was conceived on a barstool in South Alabama?
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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