i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Randomize
