I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Randomize