Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
The holidays are too long. I always run out of adderall before I run out of family. you got any left?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Randomize
