its not stalking. its research.
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
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