Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Randomize