Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
