my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Well, let's be honest here. You're dealing with gay guys... EVERYTHING has an emotional attachment.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
