We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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