I understand why you refuse to be sober now
That was the gentlest I've ever been bitten in the face by a dog
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Randomize
