Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
Bring me that man meat
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Oh god it's open bar.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
Randomize
