I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Four minutes until I can fart!
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
Randomize
