Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
I feel like a Europe failure cause I'm coming home from the club at 3:30 and so many people are just arriving... Wtf? 3:30am People! Drink earlier!
It's a Tuesday.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize