Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
I AM VODKA MAN
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
