so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
You should make us a hot pocket to split while I go throw up.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Naked. naked and bneed help.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
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