I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
How do you keep manipulating these men into helping you?
I'm a massage therapist with an oral fixation. It's not nearly as hard as you make it out to be.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
