scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
The only thing I want for my birthday is a divorce from you.
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
So here I am, sexting at work.
Randomize
