Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
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