She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
Randomize
