I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
some dude is getting blown right outside the bar in his car. reeediculous
class
he's dribbling her head like he's fucking allen iverson
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Randomize
