do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
i was texting myself key events from last night so i could remember this morning. looked at my phone, texted my mother instead. our numbers differ by 1 digit
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
I was trying to decide if i was still high whenever i realized i was pressing the buttons on the microwave cause i liked the sound.
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
