Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
You're a Heat fan? You lose any chance blowjob bc of your poor choice.
I'm crying and shaving my Bronco playoff beard
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
Randomize
