If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
It's mornings like this that make me happy to have a clean pair of underwear in my purse.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
Randomize
