Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
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