She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
You can now call me Rabbi, and I can now perform weddings, funerals, and other services in all fifty states. You're welcome, world.
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