pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
He does impressions. Handy knowing you can get fucked by one guy and pretend a group of celebrities is running a train on you.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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