after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
It's time for everyone's favorite Wednesday night game... WHEEL OF. VODKA!!!!!
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
There's a random table in the kitchen...and it's not the kitchen table...we don't know where it came from
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
