Have you finally orgasmed yet?
textsfromlastnight.com keeps rejecting me
that alone proves you never get laid, nor have a life.. or have anything funny to contribute to the world.
so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Just want to apologize again for asking to spot your form in the shower.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Randomize
