Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize