is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
