i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
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