Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
I mean the power was out what was I supposed to do
Randomize
