Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Well the party says they're going to have three kegs and four trampolines. I think I'm going to invite my EMT buddies just to be safe.
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize