A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Randomize