also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
Randomize