I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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