so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
