you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
Just hooked up on shake weight girl's dad's porsche. What are YOU doing with your life?
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Do you know what your brother wants for his birthday?
Yeah he said he wants a decent blowjob for a change.
.......
I'm just looking out for you.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Randomize
