I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
I masterbated to his instagram page. Too far or....?
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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