SOME GIRL ON THE STAIRS IN FRONT OF ME JUST FARTED AND IT WENT STRAIGHT INTO MY MOUTH!
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
I sent him nudes while he is at work because I am an evil human being.
Randomize
