the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Tried to bribe the bartender with wedding cake. Felt bad for not giving her a tip.
You sucked on the drag queens heel. It got that rough.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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