Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I know I say this every year but 2015 will be the year I finally have sex with David's sister
I am harder than a fucking diamond and Michael Bolton is playing. Your move.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
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