I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
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