apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Had to. She was getting married in 2 days & her vag was having a close out sale. You know I love a good bargain.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
Randomize