It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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