I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i just farted in the library and heard some girl yell it was sulfur gas. can. not. move.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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