I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Was that you calling me at 4am asking to borrow a rubber ducky and a tampon?
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