I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
If Rob Pattinson gets another fucking MTV award, I'm going to vomit.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize