we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
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