We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
My butt just had a miscarriage. It was yours. I'm sorry. You would have been a great sexually confused parent.
Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
